Goal Setting and Visualization Olympic Style

The Olympics are drawing closer and we will soon be treated to a feast of athletic prowess.  One of the questions some people always wonder is how a person could get to such a high level of performance and strength?  While much is made of the physical strength and training surrounding these athletes, there is something to be said for their mental strength as well.

Mental Strength can be learned.  It is something we are all born with an innate ability to marshal when we need it, and with a little practice, visualization can help you to reach your goals, both for fitness and for life.

Self talk can be the most powerful weapon we have for our lives.  It can be used for both positive and negative purposes.  How many times have you set yourself up for failure simply by doubting your own good ability to actually complete what you set out to do?  While some of this positive self talk can seem narcissistic, it is an essential part of athletic training for most high caliber athletes.

I know that before any major karate tournament that I’ve ever done, I spend a good part of my preparation and warm up time doing mental warm ups.  I’m the one you’ll see off by myself, with the headphones on listening to music, lost in my own little world.  I don’t talk to anyone-in fact I don’t actually see anyone around me.  I am quite simply doing my Kata or fighting my fight in my head.  You might see me walk around in a circle or even see me talking to myself.  This is all part of the preparation for what is to come.  Seeing possibilities and developing counter strategies if I’m fighting; going over every part of my routine if I am competing in Kata.

Seen on the street or in a subway, this type of behavior would earn me a trip to the nearest mental health facility.  Prior to competition, however, it is essential for success.

This works with everyday life to a lesser extent as well.  Play out the mental script of what you want to happen in your head prior to performance is crucial for any endeavor-be it a presentation at work or a request for a raise.  If you are looking to start exercising more and getting into shape or eating right, visualize yourself doing it and you will find that it becomes almost second nature to follow through and do it.

Start your day planning it out in your head while you’re in the shower.  You don’t need to stare at yourself in a mirror or burn a candle or meditate unless you want.  Simply repeat in your head what you want to accomplish.  Visualise doing it over and over.  As you move through your day, take time to assess where you are with your plan-is it working?  If not, adjust what you need to and keep moving forward.

See it and you can be it-it really is that simple.  And it gets easier the more you do it.

When Life Hands You Lemons...

Throw them back and say “catch!”  Unless they also come with sugar, a juicer, and a pitcher, lemons are pretty useless in and of themselves.

Been thinking a lot recently about the phrases people use to try to cheer each other up.  Some of them are cute, some are meant to make you feel better, some are simply said because the person doesn’t know what to say.  Very few of them have any value in real day to day life.

As a counselor I hear people use trite sayings and ’motivational’ phrases all of the time, but how much do they really work?  Most research tends to point to the fact that the only person who gets a happy feeling from motivational sayings is the person espousing them.  People tend to react in a positive way to specific praise and motivation, not so much to generalizations. Personally, I mostly swore off of them after hearing a mother say the lemon thing to her suicidal daughter at a hospital intake one night.  The look on the daughter’s face pretty much was a combination of utter disbelief and disgust, and completely mirrored what was in my thoughts at the moment.

So, instead of cute little motivational phrases, how do we motivate ourselves to change?

You hear many people talking about being ‘in the moment’, or being ‘present’ in their lives.  Many of us wander around on autopilot every day.  We do what we have to do to keep a roof over our heads and the light bill paid, but we rarely lift our heads up to see if there is anything else out there.  Unfortunately for quite a few people, the natural curiosity of trying to see what else there has been beaten into submission by a world and by well-meaning people who don’t have the ability, the courage, or the desire to imagine what else is out there.

The world is a place of infinite possibility and continuous reinvention and the more we try to deny that the less we really live, and the smaller our lives become. 

So when life hands you lemons remember that ‘life’ has handed you nothing.  You decide what you need and want-and if its important enough you will get there without the trite sayings or ‘motivational’  posters that everyone loves so much, but with the help of people who understand you and care about you no matter what life's handed you recently.

Chuck Norris and the Art of Kicking Butt

Depending on if you’re one of those glass half empty or glass half full types, life is a series of challenges to be met and obstacles to overcome.

I’m a half-empty kind of person as it has been my experience that just when you think things cannot get any worse...they do.  And in the most spectacularly worst way possible for the time. My life has become a true art of prepping for worst case scenarios-because in my experience it happens. Whether it is self-fulfilling prophecy or not I don’t know-that’s one for someone else to look at, but I’ve always looked at it as insurance against ‘how things are’.

Enter Chuck Norris-movie and TV version.  What does he have to do with my inability to see other than the worst of all possible results in this worst of all possible worlds?

Chuck Norris destroys worst possible results.  Over and over again-in every movie or TV show I’ve ever seen him in, Chuck Norris plows through the confusion and drama, gets to the point of the matter, and solves the problem.  Usually by use of some pretty awesome slow motion karate movies (or was that the Six Million Dollar Man?  I get confused sometimes).

Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about ‘worst case scenarios’ because for him, they don’t exist.  Events are just another bump on the road to awesomeness for him.

What lesson can be taken here?  Aside from the fact that it’s always good to prepare for any eventuality, the whole point is to live life in the now.

Tired old phrase-very over used, in all honesty.  But it really is true.  One of the reasons that Movie/TV Chuck works so well as a character and an archetype is because sometimes, all the plans you make don’t mean a thing and you have to be able to improvise.  You don’t have time to be scared, upset, or engage in pointless drama or endless evaluation of circumstances; you react to what is around you and take care of what is in front of you and move on.

Too often we get bogged down in all of the underlying ‘stuff’ life throws at us.  Most of it isn’t worth the time or the attention that we give it.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to simply deal with it and move one.  Not every event deserves further thought or contemplation.   As a society we’ve become too concerned about what the context of everything is and as a result, we allow ourselves to be run over too many times when we should be simply reacting.

Developing a healthy way to live and a healthy outlook on life sometimes requires us to strip away all of the pointless rumination and simply act.

Sometimes we all have to simply be Chuck Norris.

At Any Given Moment

Found a really cool poster on Pinterest awhile back and it really hit me hard.  I’ve been going through a spectacularly difficult time as of late, where absolutely nothing has broken my way.  Ended up in one of those ‘To Be or Not to Be” moments that many people have experienced recently.

I’m tired of fighting to simply keep a roof over my head and keep my lights on.  Somewhere along the line we’ve all lost track of the truly important things in life-one of which is help each other and caring about each other.

Then I found this quote on Pinterest: 

For where I was at the time it was powerful.  It was a true epiphany for me in terms of new goals to set for myself.

One way or another, I am going to find a way to get strong not just physically, but mentally too.  I hadn’t realized how much I had let my mental strength go until that moment.

We have the power to author our own stories and change our own outcomes, regardless of where we start from.  Even from in the basement-or even from UNDER the basement we can do it.  This is true for everything in life, be it losing weight, finding a job, or surviving a breakup.

All it takes is a simple plan-one step at a time.  When every problem in your life suddenly decides to gang up on you and hit you all at once, take charge.  Make a list.  Depressing?  Not if you repeat the idea that ‘this is not how the story is going to end’.  Pick the one biggest issue that is causing one or more of the other issues and solve it.  You don’t need the perfect solution at this point-you don’t have the luxury.  Any solution that works is the current perfect solution-fine tune it after you have time to breathe and evaluate.

It’s really amazing how empowering that can be.

This is not how my story is going to end-that I can promise- and yours doesn’t have to end ‘that way’ either.

Peace!

Three Things You Need to do for Life

What are the most important things you can do on the quest for fitness? Do you need three new exercises or a new diet? Maybe. Sometimes though all you need is attitude and the courage to push yourself.
The three essential traits that successful people have are very important to us in our quest for fitness and health. Without these traits we flail around running from one new fad to another, spending money on everything that comes along that promises us bigger and better. If it isn’t the ‘insider’s guide’ or the ‘real way’ to do something it’s new and it’s shiny and we want it.
 New and shiny these tips are not, and they require some work on your part to see them through. If there is one thing I’ve learned it’s that you need to stick to something long enough to see if it works.

Focus 

 When you walk, do you look down at your feet? Or, do you look ahead to see what’s out there? If you are like most people you look ahead so you can see what is coming at you; keeps you from walking into poles and such.
 Focus in sport or exercise is much the same. If you lose sight of where you want to be-in your fitness quest-you get distracted by every shiny new thing that comes along.
In order to achieve your goals you need to be goal driven. You need to have a plan on how to get there, and you need to constantly be looking ahead to your ultimate objective. Many people are so afraid of not reaching their goals that they never truly set any. They look only to what is directly in front of them and they are so afraid of failing, they never give themselves the chance to succeed.
Take some time to define your goals-what do you really want-not only out of your quest for fitness, but for your life?

Limits 

 What are your limits? Do you really know? Have you ever really pushed yourself to the absolute limit of what you could do to find out where your ‘fail point’ is?
 One of the things that happens with all of us is that we get too comfortable with where we are. We stagnate and keep safely within our own little comfort zones. And we never find out what we are truly capable of doing. I’ve had people in karate classes swear up and down that they will ‘never’ be able to board break. Yet, once they realise how simple it is-once they realise they don’t need to limit themselves in what they can and cannot do, they are amazed at how simple it really is. Once they allow themselves to go beyond the limit they’ve placed on themselves, they learn to soar.
 This is true in every facet of life. Push yourself to your limits to discover what they really are-then soar beyond and find new ones.

Follow the Better Path

 How can you be more effective in what you do every day? What is the quicker/easier/more efficient way to do it? Once you start asking these kind of questions you really have to dig inside to find out.
 Even the healthiest and best adjusted person in the world has a rat’s nest of feelings and motivations under the surface. Many people refuse to look because they don’t want to know, but if you really want to reach the next level in anything you need to trust yourself and let your creative problem solving take over.
 Figure out what the best way is to do it-whether it is exercise and diet, cleaning your house, or life in general. Figure it out and do it.
 Life doesn’t have to be lived with limits unless we are too timid to push beyond to see what we are actually capable of doing. Carpe Diem is not just an old lame phrase- it’s a call to action, and a call to live life to the fullest.
Go for it.

Happy Weekend Everyone! We are finally getting rain here-delicious, wonderful, drought-ending (hopefully) rain. After a lot of hard work and numerous revisions, there is a book for sale that I'm proud to be associated with. Its about resistance bands and it has two really good workouts in it with several unique exercises that you won't find anywhere else It was written by a good friend of mine and someone I hope will come in as a guest-contributor someday, as he is a true inspiration to me and many others. Hope you decide to check it out-at $1.99 it's a steal, in my opinion. Can't wait to see the next one! Tomorrow will be all about getting organized-today I realized just how unorganized I am and how much time I waste simply trying to find things. I hope to have a few insights as to the whys or disorganization and how to make your life a little easier by breaking the habit. By the way, to get my friend's book simply go here: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/163003

celebrity breakdowns

It may seem surprising that more people aren't deeply affected when the latest celebrity has a breakdown, but that's only because the general population is becoming immune. Constantly deluged with the heartbreaking spectacles of celebrities unable to cope with their tragic lives, most people simply cannot bear turn on the evening news and witness the painful ordeals that celebrities are forced to go through. Not since the existence of starving children in war torn countries overseas gained worldwide attention has the American public been so deeply touched. It is understandable why many people feel as if they can bear no more.

Nonetheless, tissue sales still soar every time Lindsay Lohan gets arrested for drunk driving and illegal possession of drugs, proving that not all Americans have become shell shocked to the plight of the rich and famous. Support groups were also formed in many communities to help people deal with their grief after Britney Spears shaved her head.

From: http://www.bestmastersincounseling.com

Have a Good Wednesday and Do Something FUN!

The Magic Lamp: Goal Setting for People Who Hate Setting Goals

I've been reading this book and it is a good place to begin if you want a fresh start in setting goals for yourself. This writer is no nonsense and provides a terrific strategy for achieving your dreams. Check him out! One of the biggest difficulties people have in setting goals is knowing where to start. The process can be so frustrating, it can be tempting to give up altogether and simply continue doing what we've been doing. Since our current situation isn't actually working out, this is a good way to clear out the debris and start new. With a game plan, for a change. We can achieve our dreams as long as we do the basic work we need to ensure success.

Stunned into Inaction: Moral Choices for a New World

In general, when people are faced with choices, they will take the one that will be of most benefit to themselves. It doesn’t matter if it’s considered a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ choice-if it works, we do it.

In the good old days, your life and your choices were pretty much all ready set for you.  Whatever your parents did, you did. Women were expected to marry and have children and men were expected to work to keep their families fed, housed and clothed.  This is how the world worked for many thousands of years without much variation.

Since the advent of the Industrial Revolution, and again in our time, life is changing at an ever increasingly rapid pace. Take anyone from a regular background in the mid 1800’s and throw them into today’s life, and you would see the equivalent of the deer in the headlight phenomenon-absolute inability to process any of the information coming at him or her.

In many ways, we ourselves are not really that different from our visitor from the past. As a species, humans are very adaptable, but it seems that the pace of change has become such that most people have lost essential parts of themselves in the process of adapting. We have become less tolerant of others, less open to variety, less able to cope with our day to day needs while keeping the big picture in mind.

We can see perfect examples everyday in something as simple as driving habits.  Where I live we have round-a-bouts in several major intersections.  Very few people know how they work and there are countless accidents and near misses daily because everyone wants to be first. I’m not sure exactly when this “me first, screw everyone else” mindset became so widespread, but it has become ingrained in our daily lives and reinforced by media, politics, and even popular religion.  We can’t blame others for this either-all of us have had a part to play in the degradation of common manners and morals.  American society especially has seen a rapid decline in those ideals we once held in common.  There used to be a time when the majority of people looked out for those unable to care for themselves; when we were champions of the downtrodden; when life meant more than the stuff we could buy and the money in our bank accounts.  The Baby Boomers grew up and many realized that the peace and love of the sixties was not going to care for them in their old age, so they turned into the people they once scorned.  Most of the people in the succeeding generations have been raised the same way since.

So how does this figure into decision-making?  In a time of no clear choices, moral or otherwise, many people prefer to simply keep doing what they’ve been doing regardless of the effect on their physical or mental health.  They have developed an attitude of superiority over others that is heartbreaking in its lack of character, dangerous in terms of their health, and dangerous to others’ health as well.

In order to make good decisions everyone must have a solid personal code of conduct.  Regardless if it is religion-based or not, certain core ideas need to be reexamined today-minus all of the bullshit and drama inflicted on us by those that consider themselves morally superior to the rest of us.  What follows is my own collection of ideas-I’m not saying that this is “THE WAY” to live-they work for me, and I try to keep myself acting in positive ways generally.  These ideas are food for thought if nothing else.

1.    Above all else, try to keep from harming others, physically or emotionally.  This one is pretty self-explanatory. 

2.    Have an open mind.  What works for one person, doesn’t always work for everyone.

3.    Live correctly-by this I mean that you treat others with respect; you don’t lie, cheat or steal.  Ever. No Exceptions.

4.    Treat yourself with respect as well.  You are not a doormat for others to walk all over.  Be brave and stand up for yourself.

5.    No decision is ever irreversible. You are allowed to change your mind and your attitude.

6.    As a human, your journey to grow and learn is never over.  Keep learning new things, critically examine everything you see, read, or hear.  Research.  If it doesn’t fit reality don’t accept it.

7.    Finally-I am no better or no worse than ANYONE else.  I am who I am, as Popeye used to say.  Those that claim moral superiority over others usually have ulterior motives-especially if they are popular.  Be cautious about following others without examining their motivations; be especially cautious if they say that theirs is the only way to live/think/act. 

Well, this turned more ‘sermony’ than I started-but it’s Sunday, so I guess that’s okay.

Next up will be a return to decision-making!

Get in the Healthy Habit

In order to get and maintain healthy six pack abs, it is important to change habits that have had a lifetime to develop.  Whether it’s an addiction to sugar, cigarettes, or simply a case of massive laziness, you can change your less desirable habits to good ones if you follow some simple steps.  It is possible to change-just ask anyone who has lost a lot of weight and managed to maintain it long term.  You can ask someone who went from being a couch potato to running marathons, “What is the one thing you had to do to change?”

Most of them will answer that they had to develop a new set of habits surrounding their beliefs and actions regarding food, exercise, and themselves.

These can be some of the hardest habits to change. Most of us grew up with positive role models, but just the simple act of living can allow us to slip into bad habits.  Making a commitment to change your appearance, sometimes radically, can provoke many of the fears we all felt as children and teens.

  “Will I still be me?”  The question of who we are and how we fit into the world is one that requires life long change and adjustment-many of us reach a point where we think we are ‘finished’, and there we stay, whether it’s good for us or not.

Getting into the healthy habit of six pack abs is a mindset that can bring us great reward by improving our health, giving us improved strength and energy for daily tasks, and giving us an entire new positive mind set.

However, getting into the healthy habit of six pack abs can also reopen old fears and insecurities about our looks, our friends, and our families.  When you change something as radical as your appearance, you can open yourself up to much more attention from people-and not all of it is necessarily appreciated or wanted.  You will have jealous friends or family members who will try to cut you down every step of the way because of their own insecurities. The people closest to you can be your worst critics because they know the buttons to push to make you miserable.  That being said, when they honestly support you, you have excellent allies in your struggle to change.

It is important, before even deciding to change a habit, to set up a game plan and write down everything that could hold you back, as well as all of the resources you have, in helping you to achieve your goal.

There are three basic steps that will assist you in getting into the healthy habit of six pack abs.

1.    Decide one thing you want to change, and write a plan to change it.

This is where you need to keep it simple and specific.  Instead off writing ‘I want to lose weight’, write down ‘I want to lose ‘X’ pounds by ‘X’ date, and I will do it by eliminating ‘X’ from my diet’.

2.    Identify those things that trigger bad behavior and come up with replacement behaviors to do instead of that bad thing.  For example, if you want to eliminate eating at fast food restaurants from your diet, you need to identify what causes you to eat there (usually hunger) and you need to identify a replacement behavior (make sure you have good food with you).  This one simple step, if eating fast food is a daily thing, can eliminate a lot of bad stuff from your diet right there.  And if you replace eating fast food with eating healthy options, you will be a step closer to your goal of losing weight.

3.    Every time your trigger event occurs, do your replacement!  Do this straight for at least 25-30 days and you will find yourself with a new healthy habit for your six pack abs training.

When we first take a look at ourselves in order to change things, most of us can come up with an extremely long list of things that make us unhappy.  The old saying is true-we really can be our own worst enemy sometimes.  When picking out your goals, chose the one item that you want to change the most right now.  Set the rest of the list aside for a later time.  It is important to concentrate on this one thing only for this time.  If you try to do too much at once, it will turn into almost every New Year’s resolution any of us have ever made-you will make a mighty attempt to do it all and you will burn out in a couple weeks as you realise how incredibly hard changing only one habit can be.  Focus is key, small steps are essential, and repetition is paramount.  The new behavior is one you need to do every time a trigger occurs or it will not become a habit.

Remember too that the new habit can suddenly be challenged and sabotaged by our own brains months and sometimes years away from the change.  This change can be triggered by huge life events that drive us to seek comfort in the familiar and old routines of our past behaviors.  Anyone who has ever quit smoking or drinking will related immediately to this.  Sometimes all it takes is a smell and the cravings come back stronger than ever.  Once you change your bad habits you need to stay aware that it can all come back in a moment if the conditions are right.  Keep on your game and remember why you changed in the first place-it can give you the strength to keep moving forward.

I know that I’ve set my goal for the next month for my six pack abs program-what about you?